Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
