I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
