school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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