he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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