fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
