is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
