I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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