i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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