I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
