I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
