ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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