He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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