Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
