I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
