guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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