It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
