Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
