I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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