We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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