hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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