Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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