Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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