508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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