yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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