The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize