So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
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