I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
