yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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