Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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