TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
