STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
