..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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