it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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