So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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