Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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