I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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