quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
