Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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