And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
