no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
