happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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