It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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