let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
