i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
