That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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