my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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