Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
