your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
