i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
