Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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