I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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