In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
