Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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