Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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