Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
