I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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